By Christopher Walker Have you recently stopped the rush and considered this question? Are you coming from loneliness, and therefore seeking companionship? Are you coming from anger, and therefore determined to make it in the world? Are you coming from smallness, feeling rejected, and therefore always trying to prove yourself? As a leader, and a lover, it is wise to know where you are coming from in relationships with people. As you know already from your reading, you cant manage relationship if you cant manage yourself. You cant know someone else if you dont know yourself. Otherwise, you will just be projecting onto people, and wont know anything about your reality or your truth or love. It doesnt matter whether it is your relationships, your friendships, your finances or your work; you come from the same place in all of them. That is a vital awareness. Some people come from kindness, some from authority, some from mothering, and some from fathering. Where we come from in our relationships with people seems to fluctuate, but this is not true. Sometimes the person we are interacting with accentuates where we are coming from. Alone, we can be an angel. Even traveling from one place to another, being very busy, we hardly have time to stop and experience the affect of our own thinking and feeling. We love and leave and run to the next because we are hurt or afraid. But when we become attached to someone, it is different For example, when we are in a relationship with someone who we really want to like us, even at work or in a love relationship, we can be very deceptive because we are trying not to offend that person. So we put on an act in order to get this person to do something. We cant trust just being our real self; we bundle up our secrets, hide ourselves, even from our children, so these relationships accentuated our shame - and this is healthy, because how else will we know our shame? Its the same when we do things we are not proud of, and then keep it a secret from our children, because we teach them to have shame too. They know there is something hidden in the closet. So they copy, and learn to be personally corrupt too. When we live two lives, we are coming from shame the whole time, but until we met someone we really want to be with, and became attached to that person in some sort of human dynamic, were not aware of our shame. Nasty people, people who are moody and attacking, are coming from a place of feeling small, irrelevant and so they fear being made redundant. Feeling small is behind so much attention seeking. Feeling small. Kind people, those who might be tough on the surface, but generous at heart, are coming from feeling rejected, they want acceptance. This is a wonderful twist of fate - a disaster in one experience can produce a giving individual in the world. Once you know where you are coming from, then you can simply know where others are coming from. And when you know where a person is coming from, their reactions to you, and the stresses of their life, can be totally understood. Remember, peoples behavior is totally predictable, and when you can understand the way people act and react, it is easier to work with them, and certainly easier to live with them. There is order in the chaos. The universe is predictable, nature is predictable, your life is predictable and your relationships are predictable. It is a very beautiful awareness to see how everything in the universe operates according to very simple laws. Our ego tries to defy those laws, this is called emotion, but we cant defy a universal law. Universal law even affects the cells in our body, and the color of our hair, and the dynamics in our relationships. It is a chemical thing, a construction of energies. So, all the suffering we experience comes from the ego, defying nature. This is called pain. To understand something is to see beauty in it. The materialist will look at the world and see acceptable and unacceptable. They will divide life into these two groups, attracted to one, and avoiding (or trying to change) the other. That is the materialist life, more acceptable, less unacceptable. Materially, this is a powerful way to think because it is the mindset that causes us to accumulates things. So if you want a lot of wealth, you can use this mindset to make it happen. The keys are greed, self- importance, fear of failure, ambition and drive. Sadly there is one thing lacking in that materialist life, and that is true happiness. Happiness comes from the spiritual perspective, which is the opposite of the material perspective. So now we have the real dilemma. To own a house, educate ourselves, educate our children, hold down a job, and lead a company, we need our ego. But the soul of humanity is not made happy by those achievements. Not deeply happy, because they are dual. For every achievement there is a downside. For every dollar of wealth there is a worry. For every new piece of knowledge, there is the conflict of the old knowledge. So the material life is filled with material achievements in which a person thinks, disillusioned, that once they get something, then they will be happy. But every something they get has duality, two sides. From a distance, a new relationship looks like paradise. But inside that new relationship there is also hell. Our delusional mind - the ego - thinks once we get something sorted out, we will be ok, but we are not. We are ok and we are not ok. Same as before, just in a new place. I remember climbing my first trek peak in Nepal. At the bottom I was unhappy, then I got to the top, was and I was happy, but now I was cold and tired. And soon the unhappiness that I experienced at the bottom took over again. So, standing there on top of the mountain, I was left with the idea that I had to create a new challenge for myself, so that I could run away from this unhappiness to another peak. In the spiritual perspective there is happiness everywhere. There is order in chaos, so even a bad situation is made to be good. This order turns both the unacceptable and the acceptable into beauty. Then there is simply love, because there is the ability to see both the bad side and the good side of everything. Then that love is not dependent on something happening, or people living up or down to your expectations; no matter what happens, love is there. There is no need to run away from situations, you can simply define them as healthy and unhealthy. Spiritually, love means deep happiness. Happiness comes from peace of mind. Peace of mind comes from an inner smile, a stillness. In turn stillness comes from contentment, and contentment comes when we do not want to change anything. So when all is perfect as it is, then there is contentment, stillness, an inner smile, peace of mind, and all this leads to happiness. Happiness for the materialist is defined as pleasure. Something makes us happy. But happiness to the spiritual person is not pleasure. Happiness is where the spiritual person comes from. They come from happiness, because they see beauty, they feel content, they do not want to change anything and therefore have peace of mind. Love can only flow from a mind that is at peace with itself. This does not mean the mind has stopped thinking; it has simply come to rest. It is working intensely, focused, but is not stressed, worried. So, it is absolutely possible to be both a materialist, and a spiritual person at once. The material perspective is the external, and the spiritual perspective is the internal one. Spiritual means, Where you come from. It does not affect where others come from, only your ability to see order in the chaos, understand other perspectives, and more importantly see where others come from. Spiritual perspective is achievable while leading the largest or smallest team in business, but most importantly, it is where your heart must sit in a sacred loving relationship. The real question in all of this is Where do you come from? If you are always thinking How do I get more money, how do I get more wealth, how can I pay my rent? then you will be in a very material lifestyle. No matter how much yoga or meditation you do, if you are asking how do I get more of anything, you are being material. Like how do I get more love? How do I get more income? How do I get more sex? How do I get more people to my Yoga class? How do I get more happiness for my friends? How do I get more peace on earth? These are the questions of the materialist mind. No matter what your idea about the value of what you are doing wanting more of anything, always leads to a form of unhappiness in you and those people you are trying to help. It means that if you are coming from a position of wanting to change anything at all, you are coming from fear. You fear what is, and want to change it. This means the material mind has taken over; even your spiritual practice has become a material practice. There can be no peace in that heart, because it is wanting, wanting, wanting. Wanting even to breathe better is wanting. And in that wanting there is a corruption to the spiritual side. If you come from the spiritual perspective you come from Loving Kindness. You do not want anything. You are coming from Loving Kindness and trusting that what you do will find its own truth. If you hurt someone, but you are coming from loving kindness, then that hurt is not your doing, it is the way your actions are received that caused hurt, not your intention. This is very important to understand. Sometimes you need to consider healthy and unhealthy people. They might be angry, bitter, and upset and you dont want to feed them energy by reacting to them. So by spiritual perspectives, you treat everyone with the same, loving-kindness. Then, you might draw a line in the sand and say, with loving-kindness, I do not want anything from you. If that person is hurt then it is not your doing, it is their receiving. And nature has a plan for them too. Where are you coming from? You can build a billion dollar empire, a sacred loving relationship and, with a spiritual perspective, also, find happiness. The key is the ability to know yourself, your energy and your ego, and understand the difference between these aspects and true love. In the extreme this is called healing, and in the everyday life, is called a spiritual perspective. Chris Walker is a world leading change agent, an environmentalist and author of more than 20 books. Born and bred in Australia, he consults to people and organisations throughout the world on improved relationships, health and lifestyle through the application of the Universal laws of Nature. The result he offers is that we stay balanced, share loving relationships, work with passion, enjoy success, and live our personal truth. To learn more about Chriss work and journeys to Nepal, visit http://www.chriswalker.com.au Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Christopher_Walker http://EzineArticles.com/?Sacred-Love---Where-are-You-Coming-From?-Are-You-Turning-Up-in-Love?&id=338681 cheapest phentermine online without a prescription
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